Am I In A Rebound Relationship? 10 Signs To Look Out For And What To Do!
Are you a rebound? Find out if you’re your partner’s rebound or there’s nothing to worry about.
Entering a new relationship is always exciting. Between the honeymoon phase and active sex life, everything feels so new and exciting. For someone who is exiting a relationship, a new relationship presents itself as the perfect opportunity to rebound from their ex. While these rebound relationships may seem like win-wins for those in them, they come with their own unique downsides.
To understand why you should be able to know how to spot a rebound relationship, you need to understand why they can be risky.
Downsides of Being in a Rebound Relationship
Every type of relationship comes with its own set of pros and cons that you should look out for. A rebound relationship is no different. Some of the potential downsides from being a rebound include:
It Can Make the Rebounder Feel Worse
Jumping from a long-term partner whom you’re deeply connected to, to another person you don’t share much in common with, can be deflating. This is especially true if you start thinking that you won’t find a partner like your last ever again.
Incompatibility is Probable
Going straight into another relationship can mean learning a lot about your partner once you’ve already committed to them. That could mean learning something you find endearing about them. This could also mean finding out that you do not share a lot of the same interests, traits, and views with them.
The Rebounder is Constantly Comparing
It’s difficult to enter a new relationship, right after breaking up, and not compare the two. Whether you say these comparisons aloud, it will still have a negative effect on your relationship. The rebounder will only see their new relationship through the lens of their last one. The rebound, whether they are aware they are the rebound or not, will always feel like they are competing with something else.
Stops the Rebounder from Learning a Lesson
A breakup does not have to be a solely negative thing. As tough as they are for us to deal with, they teach us lessons about you and what you’re looking for. By entering into a relationship with no time to process the change you’re not going to adjust your behavior for your next relationship.
10 Signs You’re In a Rebound Relationship
If being someone’s rebound is something you want to avoid then look out for these hints you may be in a rebound relationship.
1. Started dating within 3 months of a breakup
Three months may seem like a long time but think about the timeline. It takes an average of 11 weeks to get over a breakup, that’s almost 3 months, and then you need time to get back into the swing of dating. The rule of thumb is; if your relationship starts within three months of your partner’s breakup it’s likely that you are a rebound. Of course, everyone is different, and this isn’t always a surefire way to find out if you’re a rebound but it’s certainly worth considering.
2. They either always or never bring up their ex
Everyone has their own way of grieving over their breakups. Some avoid discussing their last relationship because it still pains them to think about it, and others discuss it nonstop because they too are also not over their ex. If your partner has issues talking about their ex at all (even when asked), or won’t stop comparing you to their ex, this is a sign that they are still not over them.
3. They are really excited to post with you on social media
It is very sweet when a partner wants to post a photo or video of you on social media, but when they rush to do this or want to do this very early on in your relationship it may be a red flag. Ask yourself who are they trying to show you off to? What is their goal? If they are trying to make an ex mad, or try and prove they are over their ex this is a sign that you are probably a rebound.
4. The relationship feels rushed
If you are on a first date with someone who got out of a relationship, and they’re already dropping hints that they are ready to be serious, that’s a sign. They may be lonely without their ex or are looking to make them jealous, either way, it feels like you are racing through the familiar first steps of a relationship.
5. You are wildly different or similar from their ex
Some rebounders will go to someone they deem a “better” version of their ex. This is especially concerning, because to them and all their friends you will never shake the comparisons to their ex-partner. They may say they have a type, but when tied with all the other signs this usually means they aren’t over their ex. Some rebounders will go the opposite approach and date someone who couldn’t be further from their ex.
6. The foundation of the relationship is sex
Beware of rebounders that are using you for sex and revenge. If you rarely hang out when sex is off the table and they are always pushing for sex, you may be a rebound (or you may get ghosted).
7. Their interest in you changes drastically
It is worrisome in a relationship when your partner is hot and cold and giving mixed signals. No, your partner doesn’t always have to be ‘lovie-dovie’, but if you find they aren’t interested in you when it’s not convenient for them that’s a red flag.
8. You feel like you are being compared to someone else
Whether they explicitly compare you or you feel like they are thinking it this is a sign you are a rebound. It’s better to be true to you than try to match your partner’s expectations based on their past relationship.
9. You don’t share much in common
While your partner may have rushed the relationship the longer you are in it the more you realize you don’t share all that much in common. You may begin to wonder why you rushed into a relationship with this person in the first place.
10. They don’t open up fully
Your partner may be super touchy, complimentary, and even talkative, but if they are not opening up to you, even when you open up to them it’s a definite sign. Rebound relationships have the tendency to plateau when the rebounder feels they no longer need to be rebounding. They may even have an exit strategy in mind. Being open and honest about your feelings and emotions is an important part of any relationship, and not being able to do so is a red flag.
What to do if you are in a Rebound Relationship
It turns out you’re a rebound, now what? Just because you’re in a rebound relationship doesn’t mean you need to leave it. If you find that you share a connection with your partner and they are into you as well, don’t feel pressured to break up just because you rushed into it. Though there are some signs of rebound relationships that do warrant breaking up like your partner giving you mixed signals, the whole relationship revolving around sex, and not sharing anything in common.
The key to surviving a rebound relationship is communication. Asking them questions, getting to know each other better, and slowing things down. Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up being soulmates. If you do suspect they are only with you to make their ex jealous or to have sex, you should leave. There’s no point in wasting your time to date someone who’s using you.
For another article on spotting bad daters check out our article on Zombieing!