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Annoyed Couple with relationship pet peeves

Relationship Pet Peeves that Everyone Finds Annoying

From loud chewers to slow walkers, everyone has that one thing that drives them absolutely insane. In the dating world, there are plenty. While every relationship has subtle annoyances and periodic arguments, there are certain things that are definite deal-breakers. If you’re in a relationship or looking to start one, steer clear of these common pet peeves— you and your partner will thank us later. 

Top 10 Relationship Pet Peeves That Are Actually Red Flags

1. Acting Different Around Your Friends

One way to confuse your partner is acting like a completely different person in social settings. Being charming and sweet in private but loud and obnoxious around friends is a huge deal-breaker for most people. Trying to figure out which side of a person is the real version is frustrating and the easiest way to avoid this mess is by being your true self. 

2. Being Overly Defensive

Defensiveness is a natural response to criticism. Though, if you’re denying your wrongdoings every time your partner brings up a touchy subject, there’s a problem. Healthy relationships rest on open discussion and being unreceptive to feedback tells your partner that you don’t care about their feelings.

3. Walking Away Mid-Argument

Leaving as soon as a discussion gets heated can be even worse than an overly defensive response. People call this pet peeve “stonewalling” and it’s most common with men in heterosexual relationships. Next time you have a disagreement, talk it out. Walking away mid-argument leaves the conflict unresolved and will keep your partner annoyed for days. 

4. Never Putting Your Phone Down

Technology and social media have made people distant, even when they’re in the same room. Scrolling through Instagram or replying to emails when you’re with your partner can make them feel unimportant and take a toll on your relationship. Make sure you’re spending quality time with your significant other by putting your phone away when you’re together. 

5. Never Splitting The Bill

Everyone has a different financial situation, but it’s annoying to pick up the bill every time you go out. Every so often, try to pay for a date. It doesn’t have to cost much, but the gesture will make your partner feel appreciated. 

6. Being Too Friendly With Your Exes

It’s completely fine to be on good terms with your ex, but as relationship expert  April Masini explains, “it’s very difficult to develop intimacy with someone who has exes as friends.” Remaining close friends with an ex can be a major source of mistrust and jealousy for your new partner. If you’re still hanging around your last partner, err on the side of caution and move on.  

7. Letting The Conversation Be One-Sided 

While some people are more reserved than others, one-sided conversations are pet peeves for most. Make sure that you’re doing some of the talking when someone takes you out. Your date wants to get to know you and you may come off as uninterested if you’re not contributing to the conversation at all. 

8. Only Talking About Yourself

Letting your partner do all the talking is a common pet peeve, but only talking about yourself is as irritating. This type of dater comes across as self-centered and can have trouble forming a genuine connection with their partner. If you struggle with this one, check out our list of flirty conversation starters. 

9. Never Texting First

Is your partner always sending the first “good morning” text? Do you always wait for them to ask for plans? If you answered yes to either of those questions, you’re going to want to change things up. Being the only one to make an effort will make your partner feel bored, unwanted, and needy. Relationships are two-way streets so both partners should make an equal effort to communicate.

10. Comparing Your Relationship To Others

No two relationships are the same. As relationship coach Tiya Cunningham-Sumter explains, “couples must have their own experiences, and just because something works for another couple doesn’t mean it will work for you.”  Hearing you compare your relationship to another will annoy your partner so make sure to stay focused on your own. 

How To Address Pet Peeves In A Relationship

Every couple has unique pet peeves and if they’re not addressed between partners, they can strain a relationship beyond repair. Luckily, there are ways to deal with these annoyances before they go too far. 

1. Tell Your Partner When Something Bothers You

As we said, candid conversations lead to healthier relationships. If your partner is getting on your nerves, let them know before it escalates into a fight. They’ll be grateful for your honesty and hopefully, make an effort to change things for the better.

2. Look On The Bright Side

If you’re in a happy relationship, there’s bound to be a lot to like about your partner. Try not to sweat the small things like them forgetting to text you back and remember why you’re with them in the first place. 

3. Look Inwards

Everyone has pet peeves, including your significant other. Take some time to consider if you’re a culprit of anything on this list. If you are, don’t worry. It’s never too late to address them and make sure that these simple annoyances don’t get the best of your relationship

For more tips on keeping your relationship afloat, check out our article on surviving past the honeymoon phase.

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